The Secret to Getting a Movie Deal

Yacht at CannesThe Daily Mail’s Liz Jones learns the secret to financing your movie, while trying to keep from getting seasick on a Cannes yacht party:

And while beautiful women all want to be in the movies, rich men all want to make them. I ask my producer friend whether a party is quite the right place, being so noisy, to pitch an idea to a mega-rich investor. He looks at me as if I’m mad. ‘We don’t pitch at the parties. We get them to trust us.’

And how do you do that? ‘We take drugs together.’ And when you do finally get to pitch, what.. . well, floats their yacht?

‘If you want your movie to get made, you have to pitch an idea that is either about the environment or about pornography. Basically, you have to make an investor feel either guilty or horny.’

And there’s always money for a movie about sin and redemption:

The most poignant moment, though, and one that seems to sum up what Cannes is all about, is when I sit in a booth with Mike Tyson. He has big, soft hands and is wearing an immaculate grey suit with an ironed white hanky in his top pocket.

Mike TysonHe is the subject of a documentary by James Toback, the film that receives the biggest standing ovation all week. I ask him to sum up what it’s about, and he says: ‘It’s about how I was really sweet and nice when I started out, then became a monster and lost all my money.’

And what are you like now? ‘Oh, I’m sweet again.’

As I leave his booth, I bump into two predatory blondes. ‘No black man has ever turned me down,’ says one, a glint in her eye. ‘He’s a hit, right? His film’s a hit?’

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